The last first time

Having never blogged before, I anticipate a messy beginning, but I'm hoping to make it work!

Today is it. The hundredth first day of the thousandth time I got on the scale, sat in on a meeting, listened to very logical (and common sense) motivational messages about how to be successful.  I'm determined to make it my last first day.  First days suck; shock and awe in the first five minutes, fear and anxiety for the next ten, and then realizing that months and years stretch ahead out into the great unknown.

For the first time in 20 years, since my very first WW meeting, I cried when I stepped on the scale.  How did I let this happen?  How did I allow myself to reach a whopping 250lbs????  Why did it take so long to realize that I was slowly digging myself a hole where the eventual destination is diabetes, heart disease, and ultimately premature death?

I was inspired (or shamed, to be honest) to go back to WW after I saw pictures of myself at a recent family picnic.  I wanted to rip them to shreds but alas, they are on Facebook for all eternity (and for all my 180 online friends to see).  It's easy to avoid looking at full-length mirrors, and fairly easy to hide behind other people when I know a picture is being taken. It's much harder when the photographer covertly snaps that camera when you aren't looking...at least 20 times, from multiple angles.

Here it is, folks. Brace yourselves...

(really, who does that? who takes a picture of a fatty from behind??? *sigh*, yes, it was my mother, bless her heart)

My inspiration was further enhanced when a dear friend of mine gave me a fitbit a few weeks ago.  Once I figured out how the thing worked (technology and I are friendly acquaintances who meet only occasionally for coffee), I began to pay more attention to how much activity I manage to fit into my life.  I was pleasantly surprised to discover I was averaging around 5500 steps a day; unfortunately the "pleasant" part did not last once I found out they recommend DOUBLE that number...

So, I stepped on the scale, cried, and then took myself off to the grocery store. A hundred dollars later, I have a full fridge and a (somewhat) clear plan of what I will be eating for the next 5-7 days.  I also made a commitment to myself to reach that goal of 10,000 as many days as Mother Nature will allow (I refuse to walk in thunderstorms. Mild rain, ok, but thunder and lightning is asking waaaay too much).

I was very scared and emotionally wrought when I left the house this morning.  I am happy to say that I made great choices throughout the day, and I kicked 10,000's ass! Every journey begins with a single step, or in my case, 10,156 of them.