So what's with the 50 in the title? Well....that's for my total weight loss thus far!! Yes, yes, 50 lbs! I have lost a small child, or a mid-sized dog! I feel it everywhere, and I feel fabulous!
I went out a few weeks ago and bought myself some new clothes, and for the first time in at least a decade, I did not choose styles that hang and drape. I bought fitted jeans, tank tops, a flirty sundress (yes, flirty!), and checked myself out from all angles, not minding what I saw. I'm FAR from what most people would define as "thin"; by all accounts, my internet profiles still inform people that I'm "big and beautiful". However, I feel more "beautiful" than "big", which certainly counts for something!
The best part about the weight loss, though, is not the clothes, or having people tell me how great I'm looking. The BEST part is that I can bend over and touch the floor without my gut getting in the way. I can run up the stairs and not be out of breath. I can look at my fitbit and not be surprised when I'm at the top of my friends' list (I'm averaging about 12000 steps/day!). I can look in my fridge and see healthy, fresh food, and know that I will make healthy, good choices throughout the day.
I still crave sweets, and chips, and pizza, and...and...and... but I don't (very often) indulge in those temptations. When I choose to have some calorie-laden deliciousness, I savor every single bite. I devour it slowly and with purpose. No more furtive, hidden binges for this fatty, oh no! I own it, I enjoy it, and fuck anyone who doesn't like it!
I might be losing weight, but I'm gaining so much more. I'm gaining myself back.
No comments:
Post a Comment